{"id":604,"date":"2025-06-24T17:41:00","date_gmt":"2025-06-24T17:41:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lawrencenault.me\/journal\/2025\/06\/24\/fragments-of-frost-and-fire-episode-7-the-home-that-wasnt\/"},"modified":"2026-07-12T22:08:45","modified_gmt":"2026-07-12T22:08:45","slug":"fragments-of-frost-and-fire-episode-7-the-home-that-wasnt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lawrencenault.me\/journal\/2025\/06\/24\/fragments-of-frost-and-fire-episode-7-the-home-that-wasnt\/","title":{"rendered":"Fragments Of Frost And Fire – Episode 7 – The Home That Wasn’t"},"content":{"rendered":"

 The Home That Wasn’t<\/strong><\/h1>\n

\n

I never lived on Cape Breton\u2014<\/div>\n
just came when I could,<\/div>\n
chasing the quiet<\/div>\n
like a man chasing warmth<\/div>\n
in the smoke of another\u2019s fire.<\/div>\n<\/p>\n

\n

Still, the land spoke.<\/div>\n
Not in words,<\/div>\n
but in wind through tamarack<\/div>\n
and loon-call twilight<\/div>\n
over Bras d\u2019Or\u2019s patient blue.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n\n
\"A<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Derek Hatfield, CC BY 2.0 <https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by\/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n
<\/div>\n<\/p>\n

\n

I\u2019ve seen it in all her moods\u2014<\/div>\n
spring rising shy and soft,<\/div>\n
fog lifting like a veil from the hills.<\/div>\n
Summer thick with salt and sunburn,<\/div>\n
kids leaping from docks,<\/div>\n
the echo of laughter carrying<\/div>\n
farther than it should.<\/div>\n<\/p>\n

\n

But it was autumn that claimed me.<\/div>\n
A blaze of fire in the trees,<\/div>\n
like the whole island had set itself alight<\/div>\n
just to say: look what you could belong to\u2014<\/em><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

if only you\u2019d stay.<\/em><\/i><\/div>\n

<\/i><\/p>\n

\n

Even winter felt less cruel there.<\/div>\n
Snow drifted slow as thought,<\/div>\n
and the cold didn\u2019t bite<\/div>\n
so much as invite<\/div>\n
you inward\u2014<\/div>\n
to stew pots, old tunes,<\/div>\n
the hush of a world<\/div>\n
that doesn\u2019t beg to be conquered.<\/div>\n<\/p>\n

\n

Every visit, I thought\u2014<\/div>\n
maybe next time,<\/div>\n
maybe I’ll plant something here<\/div>\n
besides footsteps.<\/div>\n
Maybe I\u2019ll let these shores<\/div>\n
claim me proper.<\/div>\n<\/p>\n

\n

But the years came fast,<\/div>\n
and the rest of my life<\/div>\n
stayed tethered elsewhere\u2014<\/div>\n
to jobs,<\/div>\n
to promises,<\/div>\n
to people who never heard<\/div>\n
the lilt in the wind<\/div>\n
that I did.<\/div>\n<\/p>\n

\n

Now, I know\u2014<\/div>\n
I\u2019ll never live there.<\/div>\n
Never see the leaves turn<\/div>\n
from the same porch<\/div>\n
year after year.<\/div>\n
Never watch the ice creep in<\/div>\n
and think, this is mine to wait out.<\/em><\/div>\n<\/p>\n

\n

Still, when I dream,<\/div>\n
it\u2019s of spruce shadows,<\/div>\n
and gulls wheeling above<\/div>\n
a quiet that forgives me<\/div>\n
for never belonging.<\/div>\n<\/p>\n

\n

Maybe
\nthat\u2019s what made it home<\/div>\n
all along\u2014<\/div>\n
not the claim I made on it,<\/div>\n
but how gently<\/div>\n
it never asked.<\/div>\n<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n

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 The Home That Wasn’t I never lived on Cape Breton\u2014 just came when I could, chasing the quiet like a man chasing warmth in the smoke of another\u2019s fire. Still, the land spoke. Not in words, but in wind through tamarack and loon-call twilight over Bras d\u2019Or\u2019s patient blue. Derek Hatfield, CC BY 2.0 <https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by\/2.0>,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":605,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","slim_seo":{"title":"Fragments Of Frost And Fire - Episode 7 - The Home That Wasn't - Lawrence Nault","description":"  The Home That Wasn't I never lived on Cape Breton\u2014 just came when I could, chasing the quiet like a man chasing warmth in the smoke of another\u2019s fire. St"},"footnotes":""},"categories":[83,86,82,90,81,88,85,89,92,91,84,87],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-604","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-atlantic-canada","category-belonging","category-bras-dor-lake","category-canadian-landscape","category-cape-breton","category-fall-colors","category-homesickness","category-maritime-poetry","category-nature-poetry","category-nostalgia","category-seasonal-poetry","category-travel-reflections"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lawrencenault.me\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/604","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lawrencenault.me\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lawrencenault.me\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lawrencenault.me\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lawrencenault.me\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=604"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lawrencenault.me\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/604\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":606,"href":"https:\/\/lawrencenault.me\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/604\/revisions\/606"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lawrencenault.me\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/605"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lawrencenault.me\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=604"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lawrencenault.me\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=604"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lawrencenault.me\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=604"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}